bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
