Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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