did you get engaged???
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
