You were right. It hurts to walk today.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
