I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
