Barsexuality is the new black.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
you had me at cake vodka
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
