my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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