if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
