You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
