im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
