WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize