I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
