i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
