Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize