Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
