Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
