I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
