They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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