i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
