not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
