the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
