Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
