i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
