Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize