he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize