I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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