meet me or not, i'm out of control
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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