she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
