I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize