you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
