The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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