I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize