Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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