Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
and she was petting her beer can
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
