I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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