how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
