whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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