just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just invented taco cereal.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
