things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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