Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
