The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
it's not cheating when I paid for it
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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