I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
