He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
