you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My vagina just clenched in fear
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
