apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Randomize