i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
