I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
