Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
