Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
