Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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