Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
