yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
