Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
