He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
