Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
