the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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