I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
sex in a hospital.. check
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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