I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Where is the hickey?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize