we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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