haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Im part way to drunk.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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