She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
