and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
