he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
