u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
