im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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