In the future we'll all be gay
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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