Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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