i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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