Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
