So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
