Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
