I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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