how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
