i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
